


her with the green dress

by unveiled



Series: Crackfic Bingo [1]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: 1960s, Alternate Universe - Canon, Darwin Lives, Genderswap, M/M, Sexist Language, Sexswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 17:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unveiled/pseuds/unveiled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex is turned into a girl. He's had worse days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	her with the green dress

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Crackfic Bingo](http://unveiled.dreamwidth.org/9696.html), originally posted to [my Tumblr](http://thoughtsnotunveiled.tumblr.com/post/29105108931/crackfic-bingo-her-with-the-green-dress). The title comes from the Arctic Monkeys' [Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iknv8_3fhHY). Contains Alex/Armando (Darwin lives!), and comicsverse characters formerly introduced in [A Lark Arising](http://archiveofourown.org/works/460237) and [72 Hours](http://archiveofourown.org/works/315832). This is so, so not keeping with the mood of those stories, though.
> 
> **Warning:** Alex is as much of a dick here as he is in canon.

"Aw, man," Alex said.

"You could've broken the news to him better," Armando said. "That's just irresponsible."

"Yeah, like there was a good way to tell Scott someone turned his big bro into a girl," Alex scoffed.

They started to cackle, Alex clutching his new curves as he tried not to fall over, wheezing with laughter. From behind his bedroom door, Scott screamed, "I HATE YOU."

***

"So, science guy, is this permanent or what?"

Hank gave Alex the hairy eyeball, which in his blue, furry form was  _very_ hairy and actually kind of really intimidating. But Alex knew Hank back from the days when he was just a weedy geek with a crush on a would-be villainess, which gave him plenty of blackmail material.

"It might wear off in time," Hank said.

" _Might_?"

"Logan and Tessa are tracking down the mutant who did this to you." Hank shrugged, then wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Until then,  _please_ wear a bra, for god's sakes. No one wants to look at... _that_."

"Suzanne will kill you with her feminism," Alex said serenely, buoyed by the power of truth.

***

The Professor, naturally, was more interested in finding out if Alex's sudden change in chromosomes affected his mutant power. Alex's first few shots went awry before he learned how to compensate for the change in his centre of gravity and his balance. Before long, Sarah and Ororo were tossing tennis balls at him to pulverise with his plasma beams, while Charles jotted down notes in his unbelievably expensive notebook.

Alex bounced on his toes, looking down at his chest thoughtfully. He declared, "I was thinking, I should change my codename."

"Really," Charles said, distracted with pulling out bits of burnt plastic from the girls' hair — not an easy task when they were both as excitable as a pair of kittens.

"Yeah," Alex said. He jiggled his new breasts in his hands. "I wanna call myself Lasertits."

Charles clapped his hands over the girls' ears. "You are _grounded_."

***

"You're taking this a lot better than I thought," Armando said, when Alex snuck into his bedroom (and bed) after the school settled down to sleep.

"I'm not any less destructive like this. Plasma beams are plasma beams, and I still got my biceps." Alex pulled his t-shirt off over his head, then crawled on top of Armando. "Heh, you shoulda seen Charles's face when I told him I wanna change my codename to Lasertits."

Armando cupped said breasts in his hands appreciatively. "They're pretty sweet."

"I know, right? And check it—" Alex brought one of Armando's hands down to the swell of his hips, to the satin and silk there "—I got these today specially."

"You romantic."

"I'm all for a gift that keeps on giving." Alex leaned down for kiss. It didn't feel mushy or made him vomit hearts or anything, just the same as always: him and Armando, finally home.

Armando stroked his hands down Alex's arms, feeling the strength there, the solidity that remained still. "You sure you wanna do this?"

"Oh, yeah. Grab a condom and get to work."

***

Later, Alex rolled off Armando and onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"What if I never change back?" Alex said.

"Uh," Armando said.

"I'd have to get used to calling myself with girl pronouns," Alex continued, hating the wobble in his voice.

Armando sighed. "Alex."

"I gotta ask: _are_ you okay with this?" Alex shifted to his side, looking at Armando's face. "This ain't what you signed up for, and—"

"Hey." Armando shuffled closer, pressing a sloppy kiss against Alex's elbow. "I'm adaptable. In more ways than one. Come on, it's late. Go to sleep, we'll talk about it tomorrow."

"That is a cheating answer," Alex huffed. But he did curl up at Armando's side, tucked in close, just like all the nights they spent together before. He blinked, his eyelashes catching on Armando's skin. "Oh, man. I just thought of something. _Kids_."

"Alex, _go to sleep_."


End file.
